What Happens When You Finally Stop Running From Your Fears?

How turning toward the shadows in your life can reveal their true size—and unlock the courage you’ve had all along.

My inner dialogue used to sound a lot like the following when dealing with my problems.

“Run! Sweep it under the rug. Deal with it later. Just forget about it.”

When I was going through the mud, that was life for me. I just ran. I ran from everything, especially if it had some negative feelings attached to it.

My emotions were all over the place. I overthought things like it was my job, and I was a human avalanche just waiting to happen from all the stress. I was constantly living in a place of fear.

All I wanted was to get out of this nightmarish Groundhog Day, but I was so scared of failing and putting myself out there that I just stayed stuck in the same place. This looming mental barrier felt impossible to get past, and a big dark cloud followed me, snuffing out any happy moments I had.

Life was pretty grim in this place.

Then something happened that was far beyond just coincidence.

One day, my teacher, who I had been working with for a while, couldn’t make her appointment with her own teacher, so she called me up and asked if I’d like to take her spot.

I immediately said, “YES” because her mentor was very well known and only worked with a handful of people. I knew I couldn’t miss that chance. So I wiped my calendar clean for the day and, a few hours later, drove into the depths of San Jose, California.

While I was excited, I had no idea what to expect. However, as soon as I walked into her home office and saw her for the first time, I knew I was going to be okay because she reminded me of The Oracle from The Matrix.

I remember walking into her office and feeling like I had gone to a different place. It was a small room with a couple of chairs facing each other, and yet there was just this feeling of warmth that I’ll never forget.

I sat down and, within minutes, started speaking from my heart. I told her everything that was going on. I shared my fears, doubts, and worries. I spilled out all of the secrets I had never told anyone. The mask came off, and I just sat there, vulnerable and exposed.

It became very apparent to me in speaking with her how much fear gripped my life. Then, she did something I would never forget. She looked me in the eyes and said,

“The things we run from end up owning us.”

I think there are a few moments in life when you hear something that couldn’t come at a better time. This was definitely one of those for me.

Her words shook me.

Mentally.
Emotionally.
Physically.
Spiritually.

She helped me realize that everything I was avoiding was running my life. It was tearing me apart. Everything that I swept under the rug, hoping it would just disappear, was still there waiting to be dealt with.

It was never going away.

If I didn’t deal with it, it would just get worse.

I had to face that big dark wolf I had been running from for so long. It was time to take back control and do what I had avoided forever. I had to summon my courage and turn to face my deepest fears.

To be honest, I really didn’t want to do this. I thought that I would be eaten alive and destroyed by my fears. Even thinking of going back into some of these old traumatic events in my life was terrifying. But I knew I had to do it.

So here comes this big metaphorical turn to finally face that dark wolf, bracing myself for an extinction-level event.

But something really unexpected happened.

Instead of seeing my worst nightmare ready to devour me, I only saw…a little kitten.

In that moment, I realized that because I had my back turned to my problems for so long, they had all been blown way out of proportion.

The shadow of that little kitten became a huge wolf that fed upon my fear and grew way out of control. I was terrified of nothing. Right there and then, I learned what fear really stands for.

False Evidence Appearing Real

All of the things I was scared of, when I finally faced them, started to crumble away one by one. I learned that when darkness is exposed to our light, it dissolves into thin air. Even our deepest fears, while being more difficult to work with, eventually soften in the presence wisdom, love, and understanding.

As great as all this was, it was the sense of courage that I got back that mattered to me the most. That’s what really counted. No longer was fear suffocating that inherent inner confidence and willpower I knew I always had inside.

So there I was, face to face with this "big dark wolf" that had haunted me for so long, only to find it was nothing more than a shadow, a trick of the mind. All the fears I had allowed to grow unchecked turned out to be much smaller than I ever imagined. I had been running from something that barely even existed when I looked at it in the light.

In that moment, I felt a shift—a deep, undeniable realization.

Fear is only as powerful as the space you give it in your mind. And when you turn toward it, it starts to shrink, exposing its true nature. Facing my fears didn’t destroy me—it freed me.

There’s something about reclaiming your courage that changes everything. It's like rediscovering a strength I’d always had but somehow forgotten. My confidence, buried under years of doubt and avoidance, began to breathe again. No longer did I need to run from the shadows. Instead, I learned to stand still, to look at them, and to watch them dissolve.

And while this journey isn’t always easy, I know now that the things we avoid only grow bigger in the dark. But when we bring them into the light, they soften and become something we can handle, one small step at a time.

So, the next time fear creeps in, I remind myself of that little kitten. I take a deep breath, turn to face whatever looms in my mind, and remember that things aren’t always as frightening as they seem.

Because I’ve come to realize that real courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about facing those fears and trusting that no matter what comes my way, I have everything I need to stand my ground.

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Here’s how you can integrate this:

Intention: To confront your fears with courage and reclaim the strength that lies within you.

Reflection: What’s one fear or challenge you’ve been avoiding? Take a moment to explore how running from it has impacted your life. Imagine what it might feel like to turn toward it and face it head-on.

Practice: This week, pick one small fear or lingering worry to address. Start by journaling about it—what is the fear, why does it feel so overwhelming, and what’s the worst-case scenario? Then, take one small, actionable step toward confronting it. It might mean having a conversation you’ve been avoiding, seeking clarity on something uncertain, or simply sitting with the fear and observing it without judgment. Reflect on how this act of courage changes your perspective.

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Thank you for being here,
—Evan