The Unexpected Gift of Suffering (And How It Changes You)

How life’s darkest moments can teach us resilience, faith, and the courage to move forward.

There’s a heaviness to darkness that’s very hard to describe.

The pressure it puts on you—digging itself into your mind and your heart makes moving forward feel impossible.

It’s like a thick molasses on the soul.

Life moves on, but inside, it’s as though you’ve come to a full stop. Stuck in the mud, unable to see the path forward.

I’ve been there. A lot actually—lost and questioning whether the struggle was even worth it anymore.

Somehow I learned to keep going. It wasn’t easy and I didn’t always know what to do or which way to go. But I discovered one really important thing: there’s no light at the end of the tunnel—rather, you are the light.

When everything feels heavy, you just want to fight against it—to panic for answers, to get rid of it, to search desperately for a way out. But resisting it only makes it worse.

It’s like being stuck in quicksand. The more you struggle, the quicker you sink. This is the most counterintuitive lesson I’ve ever had to learn in my life. That no matter how much you want to escape your suffering, the only way out is by moving through.

You just have to sit with it. You have to let it be.

And I think I should be incredibly clear here—letting it be doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean resigning yourself to the mud forever. It means acknowledging and embracing the pain, the confusion, and the exhaustion.

It’s saying…

I see you.
I feel you.
I will still be here when you pass.

Because the truth is, no matter how consuming everything feels, it always eventually leaves. Always.

As I’ve quote the Buddhist slogan before, “When things are going well, be patient. It’ll change. When things aren’t going well, be patient. It’ll change.”

What feels impossible at the time is still only temporary.

It’s in those times that I’ve held onto even the smallest things. A flicker of hope. A quiet whisper within that says, just keep going…you will find your way through. The intuition speaking of trusting a path forward that I’m having a difficult time seeing.

And so with each uncertain step I’ve walked through my own hell. Some days the steps were tiny, barely noticeable. Others felt like leaps. But every step mattered. Every last one.

But there’s something strange that comes from all of this—clarity. When life feels like an absolute slog and is overwhelming beyond measure, it forces you to look at what really matters.

Everything quiets down.
Distractions fade away.
The truth starts to reveal itself.

And you’re just left with feeling raw, exposed and humbled by what’s in front of you. It’s revealing and unbelievably intense.

Pain and suffering has it’s own unique way of teaching.

It brings in patience.
It teaches surrender.
It unearths faith and trust.

And what you receive on the other side of it all is a deep resilience that can’t be shaken. It’s grounded, quiet and full of courage.

That only comes from facing the hardest moments of your life—scared out of your mind, but with courage moving forward regardless.

So if you’re finding yourself feeling lost in it all, I need you to really hear me right now…

You are not alone.

Even in the worst of it, you are not alone.

You are far more loved and looked after than you could ever imagine. Even if you can’t see it within yourself right now, you have more strength than you know.

You will find a way forward.
You will walk through it.
You will find your way out.

Just keep holding on.

Hold on to the hope that things will get better.

Because it will.

What you’re going through right now doesn’t define you. It’s just happening. But you do have the opportunity to do something about it all.

So one breathe at a time, move through this.

Feel it all—but don’t let it overwhelm you.

You have what it takes.

You can endure.

You can do hard things.

Grab onto that light within.

No one can ever take that from you.

It’s yours to carry—always.

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Here’s how you can integrate this:

Intention: To acknowledge your struggles as part of your growth, and to build resilience and courage by moving through life’s challenges, one step at a time.

Reflection: Think about a recent time when you felt stuck or overwhelmed by hardship. What did you hold onto to keep going—was it a small moment of hope, a whisper of intuition, or someone’s support? How did that help you take even the tiniest step forward?

Practice: This week, take one moment each day to pause and check in with yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, acknowledge the emotions and remind yourself that they are temporary. Write down one simple act you can take to move through the difficulty, whether it’s a deep breath, reaching out to someone for support, or journaling your thoughts. At the end of the week, reflect on how these small actions helped you find clarity, strength, or hope in the midst of the struggle.

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Thank you for being here,
—Evan